It seems I can only really relate to something as a tool if I don’t pamper it. If I treat it as precious then I put it away (in a nice case!) and dust it. I have to “abuse” it and really live with it and break it in to regard it as a tool.

Take out something you use every day. Look at the worn spots, how smooth they are. Its a tool. You use it. A lot. Other things that you want to use like a tool should be (or should become) like that: worn and polished.